Boys Emotional Wellness

Raising Cain : Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Daniel J. Kindlon, Michael Thompson, Dan Kindlon, Dan Kindion
   Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher's groundbreaking book, exposed the toxic environment faced by adolescent girls in our society. Now, from the same publisher, comes Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson, which does the same for adolescent boys. Boys suffer from a too-narrow definition of masculinity, the authors assert as they expose and discuss the relationship between vulnerability and developing sexuality, the "culture of cruelty" boys live in, the "tyranny of toughness," the disadvantages of being a boy in elementary school, how boys' emotional lives are squelched, and what we, as a society, can do about all this without turning "boys into girls." "Our premise is that boys will be better off if boys are better understood--and if they are encouraged to become more emotionally literate," the authors assert. As a tool for change, Kindlon and Thompsom present the well-developed "What Boys Need," seven points that reach far beyond the ordinary psychobabble checklist and slogan list. Kindlon (researcher and psychology professor at Harvard and practicing psychotherapist specializing in boys) and Thompson (child psychologist, workshop leader, and staff psychologist of an all-boys school) have created a chilling portrait of male adolescence in America. Through personal stories and theoretical discussion, this well-needed book plumbs the well of sadness, anger, and fear in America's teenage sons. --Ericka Lutz

Real Boys : Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood by William Pollack

AUDIO version, narrated by author

    What are little boys made of? In Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood author and psychologist William Pollack presents his findings from almost 20 years of clinical work and his recently completed study examining contemporary boyhood and the ways boys manifest their social and emotional disconnection through anger and violence. There's a code of boy behavior, Pollack says--an unspoken "boy code" that teaches boys how to act and demands that they cover up their emotions. But the author submits that boys are lonely, they are loyal, they are depressed, they struggle with self-esteem issues, they are at risk, they need to be understood, and they need to be listened to. Boys can be empathetic and sensitive, Pollack stresses, as he effectively and convincingly disabuses readers of a number of myths: that testosterone controls a boy's behavior; that boys should fit into a gender stereotype of masculinity; and that boys are toxic, "psychologically unaware, emotionally unsocialized creatures."
   Real Boys presents more than the problems of modern boyhood, it also provides advice and assistance--ways for parents to talk with their sons, read their moods and emotions, and help them become confident, empowered men with genuine voices of their own. --Ericka Lutz --

Lost Boys : Why Our Sons Turn Violent and How We Can Save Them by James Garbarino
    After more than a decade of relentless increase in the urban war zones of large cities, violence by young boys and adolescents is on the rise in our suburbs, small towns, and rural communities. Twenty-five years as a psychologist working in the trenches with such children has convinced James Garbarino that boys everywhere really are angrier and more violent than ever before. In light of the recent school-based shootings, it's now clear that no matter where we live or how hard we try as parents, chances are our children are going to school with troubled boys capable of getting guns and pulling triggers. Beyond the deaths and debilitating injuries that result from this phenomenon are the staggering psychological costs -- children who are afraid to go to school, teachers who are afraid of their students, and parents who fear for their children's lives.     Building on his pioneering work, Garbarino shows why young men and boys have become increasingly vulnerable to violent crime and how lack of adult supervision and support poses a real and growing threat to our children's basic safety. For these vulnerable boys, violence can become normal, the "right thing to do." Terry, one of the boys Garbarino interviews, says "I just wasn't gonna take it anymore. I knew I would have to pay the price for what I did, but I didn't care." We've seen how the deadly combination of ignoring excessively bad behavior and allowing easy access to guns has destroyed families in Pennsylvania, Oregon, New York, Washington, Kentucky, and Arkansas. Fortunately, parents can spot troubled boys and take steps to protect their families from violence if they know what signs to look for -- lack of connection, masking emotions, withdrawal, silence, rage, trouble with friends, hypervigilance, cruelty toward other children and even animals -- all warning signs that every parent and peer can recognize and report.    
    Dr. Garbarino, whom Dr. Stanley Greenspan of the National Institute of Mental Health hails as "one of the true pioneers in our understanding of the inner life of our youth," addresses the wide range of issues that boys of every temperament and from every background may have to confront as they grow and develop. By outlining the steps parents, teachers, and public officials can take to keep all children safer, Dr. Garbarino holds out hope and solutions for turning our kids away from violence, before it is too late. This is one of the most important and original books ever written about boys.

The Wise Child : A Spiritual Guide to Nurturing Your Child's Intuition by Sonia Choquette
    Sonia Choquette is an internationally acclaimed spiritual teacher who has taught individuals as well as corporate staff members to claim and understand their intuitive and creative potential. (Julia Cameron, author of "The Artist's Way," considers Choquette her personal mentor and teacher.)
    Over the years, students have often asked Choquette how they
can foster their children's innate intuition and creativity. This book is a welcome answer to this parental quest.

Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (And Parents Sane) by Gavin De Becker
    With violence a constant threat, children--and their parents--need to know how to trust their instincts in every situation. Gavin De Becker introduced us to our survival instincts in the acclaimed "Gift of Fear"; now he's back with "Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)," a vital book for these sadly dangerous times.

Puberty

The What's Happening to My Body? Book for Boys : A Growing Up Guide for Parents and Sons by Lynda Madaras, Dane Saavedra (Contributor), Ralph Lopez
    This new edition includes expanded chapters on changing size and shape; hair, perspiration, pimples, and voice changes; the reproductive organs, sexuality, puberty in girls; and much more. Appropriate information for 9-to-15-year-olds on AIDS, STDs, and birth control. Illustrated.

My Body, My Self for Boys : The 'What's Happening to My Body?' Workbook for Boys by Lynda Madaras, Area Madaras (Contributor)
Reading level: Ages 9-12
    The companion workbook to the bestseller The "What's Happening to My Body?" Book for Boys. Packed with drawings, cartoons, games, checklists, quizzes, and innovative exercises, this book encourages boys to address head-on their concerns with special sections on the body, body image, height, weight, reproductive organs, sexuality, emotional problems of puberty, and more.

Changes in You and Me : A Book About Puberty, Mostly for Boys by Paulette Bourgeois, Martin Wolfish, Kim Martyn, Louise Phillips (Illustrator), Kam Yu (Illustrator)
Reading level: Ages 9-12
    As natural as puberty is, boys 10 to 13 are often confused and hesitant about the changes they can see and feel going on in their very own bodies. Changes in You and Me provides easy-to-understand information, colorful illustrations, and acetate overlays that lift the mystery to show the changes. Over 50 line drawings.